You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Is it because I queefed?
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
Randomize
