I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
