I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
You don't understand, we were on a waffle house. Both of us were absolutely certain we passed out at his place then BAM! Waffle house.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
