I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
Randomize
