Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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