We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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