it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Randomize
