So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
