i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I am naked and annoyed.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Randomize
