I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
