she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
