you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
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