3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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