I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
