I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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