I am spending my child support on dildos
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You left a bit of molly on the table and my mom found it. She asked what it was, I said "not drugs"
She believed me because "leaving that much behind on the table would be a waste so obviously it's not drugs."
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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