Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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