it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
sex in a hospital.. check
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
