He kissed a someone with a penis
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
So on a scale of 1 to Friendship-Over, how mad would you be if a rando I brought home sharted on the shag carpet in the living room?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Randomize
