apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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