i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
