I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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