Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
