the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
He kissed a someone with a penis
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
Randomize
