But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize
