yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
