Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Randomize
