And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
My wife caught me jerking off, I had to tell her I was thinking bout her
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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