This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
