He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Randomize
