I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
