Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
Randomize
