We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
