THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
its liver damage thursday
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
