if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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