she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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