i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
