they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
being sober in physics class makes me realize the regularity with which i show up to it still drunk
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
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