So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
