: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
You came home screaming the lyrics to Drunk in love, and dumped wine on me when I said you would never be Beyoncé
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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