I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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