Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Randomize
