I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
