We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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