Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
