Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
