I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
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