I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
well I can't set my house on fire every night
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
please come you make the beer taste better
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
