he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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