Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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