I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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