hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
I think that living in the "now" is the worst fucking ghandi buddha whatever advice bc that means I'm just gonna get drunk in the now.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
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