Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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