Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
My penis needs a shock collar
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Randomize
