I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
you had me at cake vodka
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
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I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
Randomize
