i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
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